In Act 3, Scene 1 of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Caesar says “Et tu, Brute?” (You too, Brutus?) to signify his total shock and heartbreak upon realizing his trusted friend and protegé had turned against him. This phrase has come to symbolize the ultimate act of betrayal for which I say, “Et tu, New York Times?”
My story begins in what started as an ordinary Saturday. I woke up early, retrieved the newspapers from my doorstep, made myself coffee, and sat down to do the crossword. This routine actually happens every morning, not just Saturdays. It’s become a daily ritual and the crossword serves as a type of meditation for me- everything around me becomes muted and all I am focused on is a 6 letter word for ‘overthink’. If I have to leave the house early, I will wake up earlier accordingly. It is a non-negotiable start to my day.
It’s also important to note that I will only do a crossword puzzle in print. I have Newsday delivered seven days a week and the Times delivered only on the weekends. Weekdays my sister will email me the printable version of the Times crossword. (That’s a blog in itself- the World Clock isn’t as reliable as my sister sending me that crossword). Every day I complete 2 crosswords in Newsday (not to mention the Cryptoquote) and the daily Times crossword. I start my day with a clear head, an exercised brain, and a sense of accomplishment.
But Saturdays are special. Within the Saturday NY Times comes the Sunday Magazine and inside is the grand-daddy of all crosswords- the Sunday NY Times crossword puzzle- distributed in 230 countries. For those of you who aren’t familiar, it isn’t the most difficult puzzle of the week in terms of knowledge, but it’s the most difficult in terms of uncovering a theme, pattern, play on words or whatnot. It’s also the largest grid. I relish the challenge!!!
So back to that ordinary Saturday… I found the magazine and flipped right to the last page (if you know you know). With my special erasable pen in hand I began. I read the little intro blurb which always gives you some insight into the author of the crossword and perhaps holds a clue to the theme. I’m practically giddy knowing that for the next hour or two I am going to be thinking about nothing but this puzzle, pushing my brain to its limit, and emerging victorious!
The first several clues I couldn’t get. But that wasn’t out of the ordinary. I carried on. The next several clues I couldn’t get. I persevered. I noticed that there were numbered squares with no coordinating clues. “Wow”, I thought, “This is an elaborate one”. But I didn’t give in. As a matter of fact, I rolled up my sleeves and dug in deeper. There were clues that I knew FOR SURE I had the right answer to but they weren’t fitting in the boxes. I tried putting the entire word in one box, wrapping around words, using four corners, reversing the word. You name it, I tried it!! The frustration was mounting. There was no way to look up answers because it was the SUNDAY puzzle and it was only SATURDAY. It was like something out of “Back to the Future”.
So now I was late to meet my friend for a walk on the boardwalk. I had to put the puzzle aside. I continued on with my day feeling dis-regulated and off balance. As my friend was talking to me all I could think was, “ Maybe if I omit the vowels…” She noticed the vacant look in my eyes and asked “Are you okay?” No, I was not okay! I couldn’t wait to get home and work on the puzzle some more. I was obsessed- which happens to be a six letter word for overthinking!
The minute I got home I grabbed the puzzle and worked on it some more, but to no avail. I felt defeated, ashamed, stupid and was convinced I had early onset dementia. I went to bed knowing that tomorrow I will have all the answers and will be kicking myself that I didn’t figure it out on my own.
At 5:00 am I went onto the NYT Games app and found this:
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? Not once did It occur to me that the NY Times had made a mistake! I mean, it’s the NY Times for f—k sake!! Who’s their editor, some Gen. Z chick drinking a matcha latte? I’m suing Will Shortz! Why isn’t this on the news? This is a constitutional crisis!
Later that afternoon I attended a yoga workshop. It was half asana (the poses) and half discussion. Usually we talk about anything philosophical from the Yoga Sutras to sex (we’re yogis not saints). That day we spent over an hour unpacking my gut-level response to a crossword misprint in the NY Times. And you wonder why my therapist is on speed dial.
I’m still not over it. Every time I can’t get an answer I think they must’ve made a mistake. Alas, my trust has been broken.
We are living in a time where nothing makes sense, everything is upside down, and we are all just teetering on the edge. My escape from this world has now become a reminder of the ultimate betrayal. And to that I say, “ Et tu New York Times?”
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